I rarely get the time to read however one of my secret airport loves are the bookstores. I love to go in and see all the bestsellers they have and flying is some of the best uninterrupted times I have. I picked up the Book “Glitter and Glue” by Kelly Corrigan…..
I have to say that from start to finish this book had me. I actually came back from my trip nearly done and just could not put it down. I had to read to the very last word and even went in my new closet for some quiet private time to finish it. It literally moved me to tears (which in the 40’s is not a hard thing to do).
What I got from it was the relationship one goes through with our moms and then becoming a mom. This had me thinking on so many levels. The first one was as a daughter myself and what I was like in my teens. I had thoughts that I did not want kids because of the way I treated my mom. Thankfully my mom remembers it differently and not so bad. But as any teen I did not want to listen to her, did not think she was cool and well….I was not always so respectful. I certainly did not want to acknowledge how much I was like her.
As I grew older and went through life’s experiences I came to understand and respect my mom…the woman. I saw her for the person she is how nicely she always looks, takes care of herself, her family, and husband. She has shared her healthy skin techniques, gave me my witty humor and was an example to be followed and not fought. When I wanted to move to California from Michigan she did not grip tighter and in fact was the one to say “If I had a college degree, no house, no kids…now is the time to do it”. I am not sure I would have done it looking back at that fork in the road without her words guiding me.
Now I am a mom to teenagers…..and I say the word teenagers in a slow and dreaded way. I am not their friends, and have those mean nasty guidelines that they have to abide by in our household. There are times I have done too much for them and see where they need to be better prepared for life. One is nearly 18 and is making big decisions and is going out into the world. I have questioned myself as a mom, cried, laughed and hoped. I see the good people they are but now I am the Mother. I pray every day what I have done has provided a foundation. And I wait for the relationships to go full circle.
I thought of my stepson in this book who lost his mom at 15 and I see the foundation she laid. He suffered loss and knows not to take that relationship for granted. I am beyond blessed he has let me in to take care of his dad and him. The role of step-mom is one I have been honored to hold twice and one I don’t take for granted.
This book had me in tears at the end appreciating the journey to my respectful relationship with my friend and Mom. I am sure there were time she wondered like I do now if she did enough. Mom, you did. The words from the book say it so great…
I want her to know I have learned the difference between pampering and love, adventure and life experience, mothers and fathers. I see now what she did for my dad and us, how she let our relationship stay simple and uncomplicated by drawing the fouls and taking the hits. It was her gift to me as a girl in the world, and I will give the same give to my kids. I want her to know that I have seen the light changes over the course of the day and I know that the rooms that start cold get warmer. I want to tell her that I know now that there are no daughters who never embarrass, harass, dismiss, discount, deceive, neglect, baffle, appall, incite or insult their mothers…..I hate shopping and cooking….I live within my means and worship my girlfriends….I was meant to be her daughter, and I consider it a damn good thing that she, of all people, was the principal agent in my development.
I want to know that I’ll take care of her, even when it’s not pretty or easy or cheap. I course I will. The mother is the most essential piece on the board the one you must protect. Only she has the range. Only she can move in multiple directions. “
The good thing is I am not alone. I know there are other moms with teens wondering if they have done enough, too much…no matter married, divorced, widowed, remarried, etc. Maybe this teenage right of passage is God’s way of giving our baby chicks out of the nest to watch them fly. Heck,my mom saw those airplane wings take me to California. The love we have for our kids is enduring.
So to my kiddos I want you to know that even though I am the warden, the keeper of the rules and not your friend. I hope you have that full circle moment. It’s an amazing feeling as a child and then as a parent to just get it. You guys may not for a very long time. I will be there. I am the glue. I do my best and want the very best for each and every one of you.
I highly recommend this thought provoking book. It gave me great perspective in a time I am doubting myself most as a mother and reminded me of the circle of life. This concludes my book review. Would love to have the your thoughts so please feel free to share your comments.
I only have so many days left on Earth. I don’t know how many that is, but I do know it’s a very limited number. I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle. And that squandering this miracle is a crime – a horrible lack of appreciation for what I’ve been given. And so, I reminded myself this morning that this day counts and that I still need to make the best of it. That doesn’t mean I need to be hyper-productive or work myself into the ground, but that I should do something worthwhile. Sometimes taking a break to nourish yourself is a worthwhile activity, because doing so allows you to regroup and do other worthwhile things.”