Sunday I participated in Helmar's Holiday Hop where many AMAZING designers shared their creativity.  First this is daunting for many reasons. I have always been private about my creativity.  When people would ask what I do it was hard to explain that I glue paper and want to make a living doing it,  I would get the head tilt and the "are you serious" so I would keep that side of myself private.  I would give the occasional handmade item that was met with "did you really make this?".  I trusted my art to few and would give albums to my parents (my two biggest fans), teachers/preschool teacher (fellow artistic souls who got it) but that was it.  I was "hired" to make some amazing albums for some celeb folks and have been published in various magazines in the industry but never felt that validity from within that this is who I am.   I myself was and still am my biggest critic.

I built a studio with my dad because he "got it".  He knew I needed this creative space.  I knew that this million/billion dollar industry had room for me in it but I did not know where it was.  I kept gluing and just knew there was something.  My love of photography, writing and art all had a home within me and I was/am determined to use it and share what I love and who I am.  But finding that place is hard.

And how does one share when:

  1. they are their biggest critic
  2. they are terrified in front of people (speaking & teaching)
  3. love to tell a joke but not in a crowd
  4. they compare themselves to everyone else and how do you compare art fairly.
  5. hate to take risks.

This past year has been all about stepping out and taking those chances.  A few years back I got the opportunity to teach a workshop and I had the "fake it, til you make it" smile in front of those fellow crafters.  I found myself staring into their eager eyes and it just fell into place.  I LOVED It and the more classes I could teach the better.  I could share what I love with people who are just as passionate….and don't get me started on the great people I got to meet along the way!

Now I am working in the industry and as much as I used to have a ton of creative time that has gone by the way side a bit for the business side (don't get me started how much I hate that side) but I love, love, love sharing what I love, meeting the most amazing people and just stepping out.

Today I found myself among these AMAZING artists that normally I would compare myself to but not any more.  It is art and we all have our own way to share it.  I am honored to be among their presence.  I am happy that they lift the creative bar and they make me reach deeper within.  They dare me to do things I have never done.  Also today with the prodding of Helmar's Fans, our amazing design team and of course Mark (who has been pushing to do this) I just sat myself down for an hour of chatting about what I love IN FRONT of the camera.  It was not perfection.  The lighting was off, no million dollar backdrop, my office had stuff on the floor, the kids came in but it was ME.  It was my life.  It was the text during the class saying my son's soccer team had won.  It was Penny making her on-line debut (she may have her own fan club soon).  

It was me……..sharing what I love and stepping out.  It was me sharing proudly my creativity and saying I love to glue for a living.  Here I am in our online interactive class on Helmar's Ustream Channel Sunday:

Who knows what the future holds.  Maybe writing a book for my 11 fans (2 of them being my parents and my two cousins who watched too!), painting a pretty picture, gluing a flower to a page but I am not going to put a limit on it. 

Thank you for my fellow artists, friends, and family who raise the bar. Don't be surprised if you see me again.  Don't worry, I will send out a warning first.  Thanks to all who shared the day with me!


Life is found in the dance between your deepest desire and your greatest fear. ~ Tony Robbins