As we go into this busy holiday season I want to share something that came full circle for me this past month.  I talked about something that forever changed my life HERE.  Suicide is one of those things that no one likes to talk about but it did have a great impact on me and how I view life. 


I recieved this email from the mom of my friend that we lost…

"Hi Tracy,  I'm sure you will be as surprised to hear from me as I was to find you, your family and your exciting career on your Internet site. It looks and sounds like you have a very full and interesting time with both your family and career.

I think of you often, as I think of many of Alicia's friends…wonder how you are…what you have done with your life, career and if the have a family….it was great to have all these questions answered. 

..We went out a couple of weeks ago to a restaurant we really like and celebrated what would have been Alicia's forty-third birthday….a day does not go by that I don't think of her…now mostly with smiles and laughs…although occasionally with tears…I'm sure you feel the same…Take care, and know what a joy it is to me to see you all grown up…with a full and happy life…  Regards, B


I actually cannot read it without crying as what she said has been so true. I wondered where she was and had tried to find her.  Thanks to this website she found me.  I am ever so grateful that.  I wanted her to know that in spite of life's ups and downs I am beyond blessed.  All the things I had hoped for my friend.  My response…

Dear B,

I cannot tell you the number of times I tried to locate you to just call and see how you are.  Your email is a pleasant surprise (happy tears). I am so happy to hear where life has taken you..I cannot tell you the impact that Alicia and you for that matter had on my life as I went through life's ups and downs.  Not only was she my friend but I carry her forever in my heart and am ever so grateful for everything life has to offer.  I have a deep appreciation for the simple things.  Just this past month I did a 5K walk in honor of Alicia. 

…I have three great kiddos as you saw and every day hope I am doing the best I can to afford them great opportunities in life.  Ironic that I now live in San Diego and I remember Alicia's love for koalas and the zoo here.  My daughter's favorite animal is koalas and she has a stuffed animal collection that I added the three you gave me of Alicia's.  I have told her many a story with them.  Alicia's impact on my life and your email mean so much to me.

I am sharing this because lift gets hard, holiday seasons may be too busy or not busy enough, etc.  Some of us have been impacted by some big things.  Death, divorce, sickness, cancer!……but when we stop to take stock it the simple things oh how amazing it can be and also how short it all is.  So if it appears I am making the most of it and want to go out with my free running in the sand……I AM!

As my family flies in, my kids are coming and going and Christmas nears everyone will just have to understand why I hug a little tighter……

"Realize every step is necessary. – Nothing is ever wrong.  We learn from every step we take.  Whatever you did today was a necessary step to get to tomorrow.  So be proud of yourself.  Maybe you are not as good as you want to be, or as great as you one day will be; but thanks to all the lessons you’ve learned along the way, you are so much better than you used to be."